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Renovate Your Life Blog
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Life is like a marathon……….
This year I ran my first (and only??) marathon and like Johnny I discovered that 42.2 kilometres is a bloody LONG way to run!! I learnt a lot from the experience….some things mundane..…… 68 kgs is NOT the ideal body weight for a female distance runner (I felt your pain Johnny as I am sure 88kgs was not the ideal body weight for a bloke either!!), you can get HUGE blisters, and even though you consume 4 litres of water and a litre of sticky sports drink over 4.5 hours you don’t need to wee!!
But I also learnt some amazing life lessons and upon reflection have realised the way you prepare, participate and commit to something like a marathon determines your success……….. and how this essentially mirrors life.
So what did I learn?
Even really big things are just made up of smaller, more manageable bits • When you think about running 42.2kms it seems at best highly unlikely and at worst …….impossible!! When I thought about the magnitude of the undertaking I got scared…..sometimes I would finish a 7km run and feel terrible and think to myself “I have to do that FIVE more times…..you have to be JOKING!?!?” But I had a training plan over 17 weeks, so I broke it down……
o This weeks plan is….
o Today’s run is…..
o Just make it to the next corner… and the next corner…1km more….
Sometimes you have to break things down into manageable bits – don’t lose sight of the big picture or the ultimate goal but don’t be overwhelmed by the enormity of the task at hand….sometimes we look at a challenge in life and it seems so big that we get debilitated by fear, paralysed by the potential of failure and revert to inaction…. because we just don’t know where to start……. That degree you want to study…..4 years full time, 6 years part time…. seems like an eternity and unachievable, but when you think about it as ‘semesters’, ‘single subjects’ or ‘individual assignments’ maybe you can do it? That book you want to write, it’s not an impossible dream it’s a series of chapters, which are just paragraphs which are sentences, which are words….. You get the picture….
You can create time • Okay so I didn’t find a way to put more than 24 hours into a day, more than 60 minutes into an hour…….but I was amazed by what you can do when you make a plan and stick to it! I completed up to 10 hours of running and related activities (stretching, muscle development etc.) into every week…….and no I didn’t have to forgo anything….I still worked full time, did family stuff, did friend stuff….I just got on with things, no procrastinating because I had to fit in running!!
Everyone needs good support • And no I am not referring to a sports bra, although a good one of those is certainly a help!! I was blessed to have a very generous ‘semi professional’ running friend, another friend who also started running recently and wanted to run a marathon, a husband who thought (still thinks!!?!) I was (am!?!?) a loony but was onboard, a sports physio who knows everything and a masseuse with a delightful sense of humour! Getting good support doesn’t happen by accident – you have to seek it out, go and find what you need through friends or the specialist areas (like physio, studying, counselling etc.) required…….and even when you have found the right support, you have to be open to receiving what they give….even when you don’t want to! Physio says more single leg squats carrying 20kgs…..”NOOOOO!!” you think…..but to keep my knees happy, I had to! Knowing your friend is going to be there at 5am for the run you committed to, means you must get out of bed…..you can’t letdown your support network! When the masseuse says “It’s your pain, you own it, I’m just finding it………”, you have to grit your teeth! In life you have to find (and accept!) the right support for you and then you have to respect, nurture and grow that support network.
Food is simply fuel………… • Yep, that’s all food does, it fuels your body – it feeds your ‘innards’ and your muscles. When you push your body to the limit, it knows what it needs…..I learnt that your body can scream "I WANT RICE AND VEGETABLES” far louder than it has ever screamed chocolate!! (maybe not as loud as Craig’s body screams cheesecake….??) We eat for a whole lot of social, emotional and reward reasons; but the reality is that its primary function is simply fuel. When I was doing extensive physical exercise, my body knew what it needed and even when I tried to tell it that I needed deep fried things and a bottle of champagne at a Hen’s night…..the next day when I ran 20kms, my body made it abundantly clear I was delusional!! Get your body into a place where it can tell you what it needs, get your head in a place to listen and get the framework (fridge full of fruit/veg, some meals pre-prepared on weekends, pantry stocked with the muesli bars and oatmeal cookies when you need something extra) in place to make it happen.
Mostly you’ll be somewhere in the middle….and that’s a great place to be • There will always be people faster (could read smarter, richer, older, wiser) than you and there will always be people slower (could read dumber, poorer, younger, sillier) than you. It doesn’t matter where you are in the mass distribution; it’s about recognising what you can achieve and doing your best and recognising the difference and unique greatness about those both faster and slower….there is plenty to learn from both groups. I am not naturally athletic, so running a marathon didn’t automatically go on my list of things to do before I die……but I did it…there were amazing athletes who completed it in 2.07 hours (what the??) and other people who didn’t make it to the end but still gave it a red hot go…..and there was plenty of people like me in the middle……running our own marathon for our own reasons, with our own dreams and for our own achievement. I don’t feel ‘half as good’ as the ‘official’ winner who ran it in 45% of the time it took me…..I ran it and I did my best and it was a ‘first’ for me. We all need to accept and appreciate the life we have…..sure we need to aspire to greater and be spurred on to achieve more, but we need to celebrate our life, our achievements and our gifts……not a lot of point in me comparing myself to Paula Radcliffe (marathon champion!!)……there’s plenty to learn from her but nothing to gain here from personal comparisons!!?!?
That’s what I learnt……life is like a marathon….and whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.
END
What would you have done?
It’s Monday night and near freezing outside. Austen, my eight years old son and I are leaving a Japanese restaurant. As we run to the car, he spots the Target sign. He begins to explain how his friend is leaving for Mississippi and his last day is tomorrow, “can we get him a gift?” “Sure.” Yeah, when it comes to his big chocolate-brown eyes, I am always the weakest link. Jumping in the car, he turns on both our seat warmers and begins a strand of topics to briefly discuss; the frosty weather, the fact that Rudolph is not always guiding the sleigh, a homework pass gives you a 100 in the grade book without having to do work, and how Dalton loves Pokemon cards, so that would be the best gift for him.
Target’s parking lot is full, but I find a spot, and then… I notice a woman coming toward my car looking at me through the windshield. I glance at Austen, he sees her too. My cell phone rings as I put the car in park, its Mandi, my daughter. The woman is now standing 3 feet from my door. I don’t know her or recognize her, so I slowly roll the window down (cell still in hand), “yes, ma’am” I ask. She responds that she’ll wait till after my call.
Hmmmmm, at this point, I know she wants money and I am alone with my son in the car, unsettling. I look around the parking lot (like Jason Bourne surveying my surroundings).
“No, that’s ok, He can wait. What can I do for you?” Yeah, I know it’s only my daughter on the line but somehow I feel safer knowing she thinks there is a man on the other line (truth is, I am too feminine to be a feminist).
She begins to tell me how she needs to get home to Fort Lauderdale, Fl. She reaches in her pocket, and my gear shift slides back into reverse. She pulls her Florida license out of a brown wallet like a badge, I pull a $5 bill out of my purse like an offering.
As I hand her the money through the partially opened window, I wonder, what is Austen thinking? Is he afraid?
She thanks me, and then tears begin to roll down her cheeks, as she explains she needs $35 more for her bus fair home. Without taking my eyes off of her as she is right against my car and window now, I take out the rest of my cash, three $1s and a $5. “This is all I have on me.” I explain. She thanks me and I begin to back out of my parking place and roll up my window.
Austen has remained silent through the transaction. So does Mandi on the cell. I am replaying the scene, what did I just teach them? What will they take away from this encounter? I am brought back to the present with, “Who was that Mom?” from Mandi, “I’ll tell you about when we get home… talk to you then, love you, bye.”
Then Austen asks, “Mom, are we leaving?” “No, just looking for a better spot.” I couldn’t explain that I did not feel safe getting out of the car with the woman still there. I was uneasy to say the least; fear and empathy are not exactly kindred emotions.
I parked again and we went inside, hand in hand. “Mom, do you think she’ll get home?” “I hope so” “How far is Lauderdale?” “About 12 hours from here.” “Further than Disney World?” “Yes, honey, about 5 hours past Disney World.” “Do you think she has children?” “I’m not sure, Boo.” “I am sad for her, she looks lonely.” “Yeah, me too.”
We reach the Pokemon cards. He’s looking at the Diamond & Pearl Card gift sets and I am just looking at him. I marvel at his caring heart. Yeah, he’s a giver. And I smile.
Then I think of the woman outside, my heart hurts for her. I am fully aware that it could be a scam but I know that my pride could handle be scammed much more than my heart could handle denying a person in need. So my heart an mind are in alignment, a rare occurrence.
In the checkout line, Austen’s mind returns to the woman. “Do you think she’s still out there, Mom?” “I don’t know, but I’ll get $30 cash with my debit card and give it to her so she can get home, if she is still out there.” “Really, we can?” “Yep.” And I kiss his head. He’s so excited, excited to do for something nice for someone he didn’t know. I love his heart.
On our way to the car, his eyes scan the parking lot. “I don’t see her.” “Me neither.”
We get in the car, and circle the Target, Petsmart, and Hibbets shopping center for 11 minutes to no avail. We then cross the street to Publix parking lot looking for a woman in a gray Piglet and Eeyore sweatshirt and blue jeans. Nothing. After circling Target two more times, we park. And we pray. We pray that if she needs our help that we’ll find her but if she doesn’t need our help that she has a safe trip home.
We circle the Target and there she is, on a bench beside the door. I roll down the window and ask her if she still needs some money, she says $21. I hand her the $30 and tell her to have a safe trip and a Merry Christmas.
She begins to cry again, and asks if she could ask me something, “yes, of course.” “Why did come back and look for me?” “Because we want you to be able to get home if that is where you want to be.” Through more tears she says, “You’ll be blessed.” I glance at my son and say, “I already am, but thank you.”
As I attempt to drive away, she says, “I hate to ask for any more of you but can you take me the bus station? I promise I wouldn’t hurt a fly.” “Ma’am, I am sure that you are a good and decent person, but that is not a chance I am willing to take with my son.” “Please, the bus leaves in 50 minutes.” “I am sorry, but nothing is worth risking my child’s safety. I pray you get to your bus but I cannot take you.” “I understand, and thank you for your help.”
On our way home, I explain to Austen why I couldn’t take that chance. I don’t think he will fully understand the risk until he is much, much older but he did pray for her to get to her bus on time. And he is very happy he could help someone. He is telling everyone this story.
I don’t wonder or worry about whether I was right or wrong in this situation. I did what I felt I could do. But I do wonder how other people treated her that night. Did they assume that she was lying? Or did some just not care? Or did some try to meet a need? Or did some look past her like she wasn’t even there?
What would you have done?
END
“Why Don’t We Go To A Swingers’ Party Darling?”
HELP! I’m out of my comfort zone! This is another fine mess you’ve got me into Buster! My husband and I are sitting in our car which is parked in a dark and leafy suburb in a rather prestigious part of Melbourne. Long story, but we are about to attend our first Swingers’ party! Help! (again). How the hell did he talk me into this? I’m a lapsed Catholic but despite that, my morals are still high and intact. I like me, I’m happy with the person I am. Will I still like me at the end of the night? As I ponder this question a car slides up beside us and stops - another couple. There is no way I am going to get out of our car until they leave. What if they are going to the same party? We wait for what seems an eternity and eventually they disappear into the night. My palms are sweaty, my heart is racing. I’m scared. Very scared. My husband is even more nervous than I am! “Are you ready to go?” he squeaks. I nod in the dark and we both alight from the car, like two frightened animals. I wobble on my stilettos as we walk up the narrow path to the imposing front door. “Don’t leave me alone! Don’t let go of my hand!” I implore. We are greeted by a very affable man who invites us inside and quickly takes our money. We are then left to “dress-down” in the change-room. I glance around curiously from the confines of the change-room. The place is packed with many people in various states of undress. No-one gives a fig (or fig-leaf perhaps) as to how they look – awful or fabulous. They all bare their bodies-beautiful unashamedly no matter how many rolls of fat, wrinkles or stretch marks they have. I find this amazing because I am very self-conscious about my calf muscles. I hate them! I will never wear shorts in public because of them. After many years of ballet, I have very over-developed, masculine-looking 16 inch Gastrocs! No exaggeration. I am constantly bemused by those macho-males in the gym who have magnificent upper-bodies and chicken legs! I could show them how to build up their calves but they never listen to a female instructor. What would I know? Then again, they haven’t seen my calf muscles! The scene looks comical as I scan the room. Dozens of couples, engaged earnestly in conversation, drinks in hand. It would have been like any other party except for the attire - or lack of it. Ladies standing there in skimpy, revealing lingerie and men in G-strings. My eyes boggle, I try not to stare at any one in particular. I have changed into a lacy bodystocking with scanty lingerie underneath and my husband Buster (looking rather self-conscious) into a shiny gold G-string and flip-flops! I’ve got the giggles at the absurdity of it all. I am holding Buster’s hand so tightly, I almost cut off his circulation. We hurriedly made a b-line for our esky in the corner and the promise of nerve-calming alcohol. Hang on a minute! I don’t drink! Buster downs a few gulps of fire-water while I sip nervously on lemonade. Eventually we gain enough courage to sidle into the centre of the room amidst the sea of flesh! When Buster and I decided to go to a swingers’ party, we decided to use noms-de-plume. Not that I am paranoid or anything! Not me! We decided on something frivolous. The first thing that popped into my mind was Tom and Jerry, cartoon characters from my childhood. Okay, that was sorted, Buster would be Tom and I would be Jerry (Geraldine, that is). We both thought this was hilarious and rolled around on the floor laughing, at the time. We feel like fish out of water as we stand there in our pretty undies, holding hands tightly, while everyone else seems completely composed and engrossed in animated conversation. A few minutes elapse then another couple confidently approach us. Oh shit! My heart does a complete somersault in my chest. Buster has a fleeting look of terror on his face but manages to mask it quickly. We tighten hand-grips. Deep breaths! I blurt, “Hi guys, I’m Gerry and this is Tom.” They both laugh. We look puzzled. “Oh what a coincidence,” says the female, “I’m Jenny and this is Tom! What a hoot!” It is now our turn to laugh, conspiratorially. Buster and I look at each other in amused incredulity! What are the chances of that happening? You wouldn’t read about it! They are very nice people and after several minutes of chit-chat Buster and I move further down the room. By this time, we are feeling more relaxed, possibly reinforced by the fact that people are so friendly and complimentary. I’ve had so many lovely comments about my body-stocking, I am feeling very good about myself. Buster enjoys me getting compliments even more than I do. He looks like a Cheshire cat but continues to entwine his hand firmly in mine. Buster and I are now within earshot of the front door. Couples are arriving constantly and are greeted by the affable host. My ears prick up (pun intended!). I know that voice, I think to myself, I’m sure I do! Bloody hell! It’s my boss and her husband! In sheer panic I drag Buster under the stairs which are nearby. Escape is my immediate thought. We must escape! Feelings of terror, embarrassment, guilt and amusement flood through me instantaneously. Buster is laughing loudly and brings me back to reality with his wisdom. “Don’t worry, they can hardly blab to anyone can they? They are in the same predicament as we are!” Too true! We gingerly emerge from our hiding place to greet them. They don’t seem at all surprised to see us. True to the host’s word, by 11 o’clock the joint is jumping and a lot of people are upstairs “rooting like rabbits!” Hmmm, very interesting! Buster and I stay together all night, politely refusing any amorous advances from other couples. I must say that I have never been treated with such respect at a social event before and I have never felt as safe. Buster and I drive home, virtue still in tact and have the best sex we’d ever had! By the way, I still like myself and I can hardly wait for the next “fine mess” Buster gets me into! Lessons I learned that night-: Stripped down naked, we’re all the same, people are people. Unclothed, no-one can tell if you’re a doctor, lawyer, truck-driver, teacher or garbologist. Social status becomes irrelevant and unimportant. People who feel comfortable and confident in their own skins and love themselves regardless of their size or shape are attractive people. It’s the personality and the confidence that is attractive not the packaging. It’s not easy to get out of your comfort zone, it can be scary but you can learn a lot. Don’t judge people unless you have walked in their shoes first. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Be honest and faithful to yourself. Don’t be pressured into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with morally. You may regret it.
END
The influences in our lives
We all have different types of people in our lives right? Teachers, co-workers, friends, relatives, acquaintances, motivational speakers… You get the point... These people will have an influence in our lives in different ways and will be in our lives for different amounts of time.
Some people for a short period of time: To teach us something or to share something with us. This could be a moment, a day or even a month.
Some people will zigzag in and out of our lives: You may find that these people seem to ‘pop up’ at key moments in our lives. And I don’t mean that in a stalker kind of way. These people seem to pop up when you need them most or at opportune times. At the end of this journey, we will look back at our times spent with these people and realise exactly why we shared those moments and what we learnt from each other.
And finally, there are the people who we share this amazing life journey with. The special people. Our soul mates. I’m not just talking about those of the opposite sex. Although, they’re great too. I’m also talking about those people who you happen to share everything with: the cries, laughs, scraped knees, break ups, break downs, break throughs, good times, bad times, hard times, fights, make-ups, detentions… all that great jazz.
I think it’s safe to say, that almost everyone has at least one of these people in our lives. And if you’re lucky, you’ve got a whole bunch.
Now these are the people who allow us to be our true selves and encourage us to our highest potential. They bring out the best in us. Our ‘soul’ feels most comfortable around these people. Can you think of that special someone? Or if you’re one of those lucky people… the ‘someones’?
How often do you show these special people/person, that they are exactly that: ‘special’ to you?
And sure, I’ve heard it before: “Well I don’t need to tell or show my husband that I love him everyday. He already knows it”. Or “My sister knows that she’s my best friend and that I love her. That’s not something I have to tell her about.”
Well that maybe fair enough. But what about all that energy you spend on: That ex-boyfriend who has moved on anyway; That friend who keeps dragging you down and telling you you’re wasting your time with that dream; That boss who makes you go home feeling like a piece of horse manure everyday;
When we could spend more time and energy appreciating and embracing the people in our lives who make us better people. Those who bring out our true selves. When in fact, these ‘special people’ are the exact positive influences who will give us the perspective, inspiration and honest opinions to solving these issues in our lives. Wow, I guess it’s like a cycle? Funny that.
Now, allow me just to straighten something out. I am not implying that we should spend less time or show less compassion for those on earth who are less fortunate, a little lost or need a helping hand. In fact, by helping others, we contribute to making this world a better place for us to share with these ‘special people’; the people who influence our lives in a positive way. Not only that, but we help make someone’s life that little bit better. I believe we all have a duty to do this throughout our journey.
Challenge yourself, by identifying those people who influence your life in a positive way and those who influence your life in a negative way. Then take the time, most importantly, the energy, to show the ‘special people’ you appreciate them. That you are happy and privileged to be on this journey with them. Let’s start spending more energy on those ‘special people’ and less energy on those who are no longer serving themselves, or you, by being in each others lives.
This is a challenge I recently took up myself. Sure, it was confronting. I realised just how much energy I was putting into some relationships that had already drifted apart. Those people who I found were actually influencing my life in a negative way. Pulling me down, affecting my moods and influencing the way I want to live my life. I have made a choice to move on from these relationships and stop letting these people influence my life in a negative way. Give it a go if you like? Feels great.
END
1% More is All It Takes
All my life I have always been looking forward into the future and focusing on what I want to achieve over the next year, 5 years, 10 years etc.
I see thousands of intelligent, well educated people “trying” to achieve their goals whether it be weight loss, fitness or business related. They start, stop, give up, decide to try again and on it goes year after year and they end up not achieving anything because they have not “mentally” decided to achieve their goal. What they don’t realise is that it is not that hard to achieve what we want but we have to really want it. If we really want something than all we have to do – is do it 1% better than the rest – that means when everyone else throws the towel in – you just keep going – do 1% more and bingo – you get success.
Having a journal writing down everything that you want, having a goal board with pictures of holidays, new cars, the body we want to create and creating a timeline and focusing on these goals everyday will bring you success if you do just 1% more than the rest. Most people think about it but they never put pen to paper or never take the time to cut out photos and pictures for their board – just doing this one little thing – it is not hard 1% more than the rest – the results are tenfold. I was talking to the wife of a business associate at a conference and she was telling me that she got a knock on the door and when she opened it two builders were standing there. They advised her that her husband had asked them to secure the white board they we holding to the wall in their bedroom. This whiteboard took up the whole size of the wall. On the whiteboard he had all his business, personal and life goals –he wanted to be able to see them first thing every morning. He is a top salesperson Nationally – all it takes is just 1% more than the rest.
I was in a training meeting with my staff a couple of months ago and we were discussing our goals. My Property Manager told me she would try and achieve one of her goals. I immediately told her to stand up and walk behind her chair. She slowly got up, looked at me with big wide-opened eyes, wondering what was gong to happen next. I asked her to “try” and pick up the chair. So she immediately picked up the chair with much delight. I said to her “NO” don’t pick the chair up, I only want you to “try’ and pick the chair up. They all started laughing but it took this one little act to make them realise that what we say and how we think effects our outcomes. No matter what we do we have to be 100% committed, we know no matter what it takes we will achieve our goal – this will happen if we do just 1% more than the rest. Even though goals seem hard – usually they are not hard to achieve but we do have to get outside our comfort zone and fight the desire to stay in our comfort zone, all it takes is 1% more effort.
We are our own worst enemy, we have hundreds of conversations with our own brain and put self doubt in our minds and no-one can understand why we have become so negative when nothing has happened – they have been sitting there with you and then all of a sudden we are doubting ourselves. What they don’t realise is that we ourselves have had an internal conversation with ourselves and slipped back into our comfort zone. When this happens we need to rise above this and be 1% better than the rest.
I am sure there are hundreds of people out there in cyber space that are excellent writers, funny, can tell a story but they are either too lazy, too busy or just don’t want to put that 1% more effort into having a go.
I am just a mediocre person that puts myself out on a limb – I give 1% more than everone else and this has taken me to places I never dreamed of going. I have some goals for 2008 and your blog presented the opportunity for me that I need right at the time. I will be focusing on receiving your call.
Thanks for reading my first attemp and I have no idea how many words this is but it was fun. I have 3 baskets of ironing to do, work tomorrow, xmas presents to buy, a trip to Sydney on Thursay, A Wedding in Wollongong on Friday, back home at this stage Sunday and then need to clean house, shop, cook food for Xmas and entertain and feed 20 guests on Xmas day. Yes my days are busy but I decided to put in an extra 1%. :)
Have a very Merry Xmas and an Oustanding New Year, I look forward to your mentoring lessons in 2008.
END
Ignite that Spark of belief.
“Life Sucks and then you Die”. The slogan on the t-shirt was not the worst I had seen but I could tell I was going to have my work cut out for me. Tony with the attitude to match the t-shirt came into my office, sat down and made no eye contact. His gaze shifted from out the window to down at the floor. Tony was 23 and had never worked since leaving school at 15.
My job was as case manager of the very long tem unemployed, at a time when unemployment rates where well over 10%. I had a caseload of almost 80 clients and in the last 6 months only one of my clients had found work. I was feeling pretty jaded and had formed the opinion that a lot of the people on my case load were just not interested in working. I started to go through the motions with Tony. I had my spiel down pat and asked the usual questions and got the usual monologue answers, “yes”, “no”, “dunno”.
I completed the obligatory Newstart agreement that had to be completed in order for Tony to continue to receive Newstart Allowance (Unemployment benefits). I looked at my watch and found I still had 15 minutes left of the scheduled 45 minutes. Hey this is good I was thinking to myself … I’ll have enough time to pop out and get a cappuccino before my next client.
At the end of the interview, I explained to Tony that I would be calling him back in six months time to review the Newstart agreement. I had already assumed that Tony would still be unemployed in 6 months time. Tony looked at me straight in the eye and said “ I believe I can get a job before then and I was hoping you could help me”. Far out brussell sprout…. this was a rather eloquent statement from Mr mono-syllable with the bad t-shirt. Who needs a cappuccino for a pick me up when someone like this just blows you away with one sentence and that magical word - believe. I had become so jaded and cynical, I never even gave this guy a chance. I thought he was the one with the bad attitude but it turned out the person with the bad attitude was me.
I learnt some really valuable lessons working with Tony over the next few months. No matter how bad things may appear, there is always hope. Tony could have given up – the cards were definitely stacked against him. It wasn’t an easy road for Tony as he had eight years of bad habits to work through and overcome like getting out of bed around 11am, and getting drunk or stoned most nights because he was bored.
Tony believed he could get a job and was prepared to do almost anything to get there. He lost many so called friends who didn’t like the new “boring” Tony who stayed straight and no longer got drunk and stoned. Tony agreed to do a training course in tyre fitting which started at 7.00am - 5 days per week. Tony was the only guy on the course who turned up on time every day.
Tony’s perseverance and commitment was nothing short of amazing, in fact he was an inspiration. He ended up being a mentor to a couple of guys on the tyre fitting course who were causing some problems and helped to pull them back in line. During the course Tony and the other course participants got 2 weeks work experience with a major tyre supplier. Even though Tony was by no means the best tyre fitter, he was only one who was offered full time work with the company. The employer stated it was Tony’s attitude that won them over. Two weeks after starting work there Tony also managed to convince the manager to give another two guys a go – the guys that he helped mentor during the course. Tony went from strength to strength and ended up becoming second in charge in less than 2 years.
In Tony’s case there was one tiny spark of belief just waiting to be ignited. You too can achieve amazing things in your life if you ignite your spark of belief. What fuel do you use to ignite that spark? How about good old fashioned passion, commitment, perseverance, hard work and a never give up attitude for starters? It worked for Tony and it can work for you too.
Give yourself the best Christmas present ever this year. Delve deep inside yourself and find that spark of belief and then ignite that spark of belief. 2008 is the year you can make it happen!
END
How to slim down your verbal conflict, feel less guilt, and get more done! December 16, 2007 Wouldn’t it be great to never have an arguement again? Wouldn’t it be great to never feel guilty? Wouldn’t it be fantastic to accept ourselves for who we are right now? Wouldn’t it be great to stay motivated? Although that future may seem unlikely, the following article may just help you achieve it. There is one word that consistently causes confusion and anger. This word causes many arguements and if we can remove it from our speech, everyone will be happier! This word causes frustration when we say it to someone else, anger when someone says it to us, and a whole bucket of mixed emotion when we say it to ourselves!
That word is Should. The word should identifies our deeply held beliefs, and at the same time, it implies that we have not matched those beliefs. When your behaviour falls short of your standards it creates self loathing, shame and guilt. The word should is right in there, helping those bad feelings, helping us punish ourselves. When another’s behaviour falls short, you might feel bitter and self righteous. Again, that nasty word is brought out again, telling someone they should have done this or that. Pointing out their failures and making them feel bad. Think about something you should do. Maybe you should get some exercise. Maybe you should not eat that chocolate. Now think about something you have done. Notice how it makes no sense to use the word should to describe something you’ve done? This is because the word doesn’t relate to reality. No one I’ve ever met does their ‘shoulds’. Some people say they do, when they have to. Which really means they change that thing from a ‘should’ to a ‘have to’. So when you say “You should have done this” it’s pointing out a fantasy. This thing never happened, but I’m going to point it out anyway. Unfortunately ‘Should’ is used regularly for motivate ourselves and others. It is one of the worst methods to use! It’s a poor motivation method that usually leads to last minute rushing, increased stress and poor performance. Not to mention making us feel bad in the process! Another interesting thing about shoulds – often they work against our goals. Take for example going to the fridge for an afternoon snack. You look at the carrot, then look at the chocolate cake. You say to yourself “I shouldn’t eat the cake.” Say this to yourself now and notice how you feel. Your answer is likely nervous and guilty. You haven’t done anything yet and already you’re in trouble! Generally we do our ‘Must’ goals. Should goals sometimes are done, but only when they become a must. People with thin bodies have must, those that want a thin body but fail usually have should. There is nothing else for it. Avoid the use of the word ‘should’! If you hear yourself say it, rephrase the sentence immediatly without the ‘should’. At it’s simplest, changing the ‘should’ to a ‘could’ is a good start! Change that one word and be amazed about how much easier it is to reach your goals, feel happier and get on better with others! END
How to: Turn Your Desk Into a Productivity Zone Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 1:26am by admin By Jessica Hupp If you’re like many busy people, your desk is full of mail, papers that hold forgotten to-do lists, and perhaps a stray coffee cup or two. This sort of environment just isn’t conducive to productivity. Follow these tips to streamline your work area and get things done. • Keep it tidy First things first. A tidy desk makes it easier for you to stay focused. Otherwise, you’ll feel overwhelmed by the weight of stuff around you. Organize your papers, corral post-it notes into a journal, and get rid of any random junk. You’ll feel refreshed and can clear the path towards better work. • Clean up your computer desktop, too A clean virtual desktop is just as important as a the one you’re sitting at. Instead of using lots of specialized tools, find a few super tools that can do multiple jobs and stick with them. Clean out the junk by uninstalling programs you don’t use anymore and archiving old files. • File Have you ever found yourself scrambling to find a piece of paper you just know you have, but can’t seem to place? Make it easy for you to find what you need by putting everything in a specific spot. You’ll save yourself time and frustration, plus it will be easier to stay on track if you don’t have to stop everything to conduct an extensive search. • Keep the essentials close at hand Your desk should be stocked with nearly everything you need to do your job. Whether it’s a file cabinet, printer, or pencil sharpener, make sure it’s within reach. If you have to get up and cross the room to use something, you’re likely to get distracted and off track. • Don’t goof off Make your desk a sacred space for work, and you’ll train your brain. Avoid using your desk for personal projects, storage, or other distracting items, or your attention may be swayed. If you keep your desk purely a work zone, it will be easier for you to get into work mode when you sit down. • Have good lighting Lighting is essential to productivity. It reduces your eye strain and prevents gloominess. To create productive lighting, focus on using natural light and reflection. Get rid of shadows and glare, and be sure to keep up proper maintenance. • Practice desk yoga Yoga isn’t just good for health and spirituality, it’s helpful for creativity and concentration as well. Take a moment to be active and mindful, and you’ll refresh your brain. Try out a program like Yoga @ Your Desk to learn about yoga you can do without even leaving your chair. • Get a smaller desk To get productive, get simple. Using a smaller desk means you’ll have less opportunity to let clutter take over. There’s less room for papers and assignments to pile up, so you’ll be forced to deal with items as they come. This can provide you with an incentive to work more efficiently. • Decorate with stimulating colors and design Some colors are just more productive than others. White rooms create an environment that supports errors, while bright colors like red are stimulating. If you’re overwhelmed by stimulating colors, blue-green walls are universally productive and relaxing. • Practice good ergonomics The comfort and efficiency of your body can directly influence productivity. Getting out of an awkward posture simply makes it easier to do any given task and concentrate on your work. It’s also been found to reduce errors. • Leave your desk That’s right, take a break. The most productive desk is one that you’re not chained to all day. Get up, move around, have a snack or a quick chat with a friend, and you’ll be more refreshed and ready to work again. END
I’m just doing it.......
I have just turned 40. I am in great physical shape and a member of the Australian Power lifting team. I also have a successful professional career, 2 very switched on teenage kids, sexy hubby, great family and some incredibly fulfilling friendships with amazing people. I eat clean, I train every week, I spend significant effort on recovery, I supplement, have massages, acupuncture & saunas. I do this every day, every week, every month........you get the idea. This is my lifestyle and I love it, everyone who knows me understands that this is my life. A lot of people look at me and ask how I do it all. They ask for advice on fitness, weight loss, nutrition etc. Now as much as I don’t want to sound like a Nike slogan, the answers to all of these question is ....... just do it. Before you think I am a saint or a nutter, my recent experience in the Australian Power lifting team has given me the opportunity to meet a number of same minded individuals, many of whom are older than me and I am extremely comforted by the fact that I am not alone, and the future looks very active for me. A lot of these people aren’t elite athletes; they are just regular people with respect for their health. I was having lunch with an overweight girlfriend recently and she told me that “this time” she was going to lose weight by sticking to her diet and exercise program and it would all start on Monday. I challenged her and said “why don’t you start now “(it was Friday lunch). She looked at me horrified as apparently there were parties planned over the weekend and it would have to wait. So apparently going to parties and living lean are incompatible...........hmmm I must have missed this announcement. At dinner 2 nights later (yes I do eat out a lot), another girlfriend wanting to shed a few kilos and get some tone challenged me to find a way to motivate her to “get her to the gym”. Now as you can see from the top of this article I am a pretty busy woman. Motivation is your own personal domain, and if loosing lean muscle, gaining body fat and a general deterioration caused by aging isn’t sufficient to get you moving what makes you think I can provide any additional impetus, especially when all of the above are a major reason I look after myself? Over the past 10 years of my wellness journey I have seen many things, read mountains of magazines and books, attended seminars, training courses and talked to many people. I have also experimented with many fads and methodologies, so I have a pretty fair foundation to form an opinion on why so many people are unfit, overweight, unhealthy and unhappy. However I am going to refrain from advice, theories or explanations simply because there is so much information and education already available. So what is my point? My point is that your body is your responsibility. To build a strong and functional body with endless vitality and to remain youthful and energised into old age YOU must take responsibility and simply DO IT. If you don’t want to look after yourself, that is your choice........but stop freakin asking me how I do it because I am too busy being fabulous!!! Lisa
END
Have you ever been told that "you cant" or "you never will" or "you will not" or just had a big fat NEVER said to you. I think everyone in their lives at some time would have. Some would be little things in reference to this but what about if you were told you had 10 months to live, or you will never use your wrist again, or you have had a broken pelvis but didnt know it, or been told you will never play football again at the elite level, or what even if you were told that you will never raise your arms again above your head again. Well i have all those things told to me by medical practitioners. Dont get me wrong in saying that i think they talk crap but let me tell you how i think a positive attitude and outlook on life will get you a long way and also the support you have around you.
A teacher once taught me in school that the mind is the most powerful thing. We did a visualizing technique where the teacher got us to close our eyes and imagine biting into a lemon. Our mouth salivated. Now we didnt really bite into a lemon, it was that we thought we did that made our mouth salivate.
I had it all before me, i was 17 and had just been drafted to an AFL club. I thought it was all going to happen. Be a sporting superstar and all. My second year at AFL level i was diagnosed with the rarest cancer in the world and was told i had only 10 months left in me. Because i have not many words to go into detail, one memory that i think helped me to overcome the cancer was i was not there to die. I didnt want to know about the cancer i had, i wanted to know when i can get back on with my life. The nurses tried to put me in a ward with older people. Now they looked like they were ready to die. Not me so i requested my own room and planned on getting out of there asap. Once i was put into remission i was told i could not work for 10 years and not play sport for 5 years. Yeh right. I spent the next 2 years at the elite level but unfortunately i was unable to sustain the physical levels of training and playing. I gave it a go though and didnt rest on the laurels that i was told i would not play again.
So i took up flying! Well flying off a motorbike. I broke my wrist, let me rephrase, i totally destroyed my wrist to the point where i was in theatre for 3 hours and come out looking like Robo-Cop. Doctors said they couldnt fuse my bones together and i would not beable to use my wrist again. I had my wrist/arm permanantly fixated with external rods for 1 year. Load of baloney that was. Mind you went through a bit of pain but i am not at all one bit restricted now.
A few years later i find myself in Perth working as a personal trainer and decide to take up flying again. Yes that bloody motocross. This one was a beauty. Imagine being thrown off a 3 storey building head first and landing head first. Pretty much what i did. 7 broken ribs ( which at first xrays looked like my whole sternum had opened up), a left broken collarbone in 2 places, a totally dismantled right shoulder with bones sticking out everywhere and 2 punctured lungs. That was the fun part, mind you i diagnosed myself on the ground, stayed conscious and didnt enjoy one bit of it all. Intensive care for 2 days couldnt operate on my collarbone because of my puncture lungs. In hospital for 5 days until i had had enough. Proposed to my now wife. ( had to have someone to look after me incase it happened again), back at work in 6 days after my accident. Both arms in slings, but i can tell you it was a heap better than laying around home feeling sorry for myself. It took me nearly 16 months to raise my arms above my head. But i did it. Determination, bit of pain but all worth it in the end. Oh and thats where the pelvis come into play, docs said at first i had fractures my pelvis, but i didnt have any pain there. Turned out it was an old injury, i didnt even know i did it. The next year i came 3rd in the state for my grade. Learnt from my mistakes.
I think i have used up my 1000 words but i just wanted to let people know, no matter what anyone tells you it is you and your mind that decides how you want to take that information on. I was never going to let anyone tell me what i could and couldnt do with my body. Also the support i received during all of these times was amazing. I only associated with positive people. i didnt want people around me that was not there to help me get on with my life.
I am now married and have a 14 month old boy with our second child on the way. We are opening a new business called Xclusive lifestyle changes. A personal training studio with a difference. One person i can say that has had a huge impact on where i am today is Craig Harper. It was Craig that assisted me in getting my Personal Trainer certificate. Employed me for a short time until i left to go to Perth.
This is just a very small reflection on my life. I always ask myself and my clients " which would you let give up first, your mind or body. I know which one i would".
Thanks for your time reading a piece about my life.
Shaun Baxter
END
What if there isn’t a Next Time? August 3, 2007….. The phone rang…. I was in the toilet…. How is it that every time you sit down to go to the toilet, the phone rings! It was my brother. (number 5) Strange he was ringing me because I disowned him about 5 years before, and hadn’t really talked to him since. “Are you sitting down???: “Actually… yes I am….( well…. I WAS sitting!!.) Why are you ringing me???” “I’ve had a call from Mum’s work”….. “Oh… Ok…. Why?…..” “They said she took a bit of a turn this morning!!......” “A what???.....” “A bit of a turn….. she collapsed at work….. they think she’s had a heart attack!!” “She WHAT!!!” “She’s had a heart attack………… And they said she DIED!!!” “She FRICKIN’ WHAT!!!!!” “She had a heart attack…. And she’s DEAD!!!” “ARE YOU FRICKIN’ KIDDIN ME????” “.......she's dead!!! ………..”
Those words will echo in every part of me for the rest of my life……
My mum was 62 years old and reasonably healthy…. She had had a bit of a cold, so was feeling a little under the weather…. But, nothing serious…. I had talked to her the night before… Actually cried…. As the vet was putting my puppy dog of 15 years to sleep….. She was gonna come over…. I said No…. She was already not feeling well, and it was late…..
I spent 34 years of my life not really knowing who my mum was…. And then in May this year, I made the choice to connect with her….. really connect for the first time. For most of my life she was fairly discouraging and belittling, and she always missed the big events in my life! She would say I was too fat, or too thin and I couldn’t sing, and why would I want to do that?!!!! And…… I was scared of her! Her philosophy was to always smack first, then ask questions later. She even smacked my kids…. I didn’t like her too much for a while…. Any way, I finally stood up to her…. And said “No more…. No more smacking…. Stop telling me how to live my life and putting me down….You don’t get to choose how I live! But…... Thanks for the lessons!” .
We got along much better after this!
She started to come over every week to babysit my girls while I went to school…. I would ask questions about her past and she’d ask me questions about the study I was doing….. It seemed like the first time in my life that she was really interested in me…. Not just as one of her six children, but as ME!…. And we had similar interests… Too Weird?!?
I stopped being scared of my mum, and realized, for the longest time when I was a kid, she had suffered from depression and she was very angry…. She didn’t laugh much….. I started to think “why is she like this??” She never really expressed any emotions….. My dad died 4 and a half years ago after a 15 year battle with cancer…. (Another phone call I won’t ever forget)….and I didn’t see her cry once…. I know she did, she just never let anyone see it! We even got drunk together one night….(my mum didn’t really drink!!!)… and sorted through my Dad’s stuff…. She was kinda cool…. She was really hard-working and strong and sure she had her issues…. But she was my mum!... And I loved her…… But I never told her…. And she never told me!!!!
There won’t be a better time than right now to SAY AND DO what you have to….. There won’t be a better time than right now to tell your special people I LOVE YOU…. There won’t be a better time than right now to give them a hug….. and a pash (kiss)…. Maybe a tickle??….. There won’t be a better time to laugh… and sing… and dance… and BE HAPPY! There won’t be a better time than right now to create a better you… or happier you… or fitter or stronger you… or whatever You it is you want to become….. If your life sucks, then it’s Your Fault!!! YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE! Your choices have lead you to where you are now… It’s only You keeping you there, and it’s only You that can change where you’re at! If you have a crappy relationship…. If you’re overweight...... If you hate your job….You can choose to do something about it! Or change your perception! It’s never too late to start! You can choose to suck at life…… You can choose to continue to live a life you hate….. Or.......you can choose whatever it is that you dream of!!! It’s Your choice…… Excuses are just an easy way out of actually having to do anything!!!! Sure…. Blame everyone else….. Your life will still suck…. And you’ll never be any closer to being the happy, successful You that you wished you were!!!
Don’t get discouraged by everyone else saying ‘why the heck would you want to do that?’…. ‘that’ll never work’…. What the hell would they know…. They’re not you…. There is only one YOU…. And only you can truly know what you’re capable of and have the right to make your own decisions!!!!!…..
I had three months of just starting to get to know my mum…. Because that was the choice I made….. I’d be sure to tell her next time I saw her that I loved her (yeah yeah)…. And give her a hug (sure sure….) And you know what…. Next time came and went…. And the next… and the next…. And I never said it….So she never said it back! And now…. There won’t be a next time! Now it’s Christmas, and I miss my mum…. (And my dad…. And my puppy…)
Whatever it is that you have been putting off doing, don’t leave it till there won’t be a next time! What are you waiting for? You CAN do it now…. But only you can make that choice! Much love and hugs to all at Christmas time..... KK
Moments of bliss.
Does anyone else still have these?
You know, it’s a weird, consuming feeling - like a wave, like you are about to cry, but you are feeling incredibly, incredibly happy.
Time stands still and you are right in the moment. It makes you feel like everything is going to be OK, that you are OK. That life is good and you are lucky to be alive.
Well, if you do still have these moments - how cool are they???
These moments fill me with a sense of abandonment. My eyes usually well up, and I don’t know why. It can be a song on the radio that does it too me. It can be roller skating and still being able to skate backwards after 20 years. There’s nothing like doing something that you did when you were 12. It brings back memories of dreams and excitable girly crushes.
It can be my favourite piece of classical music, a particular chord progression that rips my heart out. God bless you Mr Mahler for doing this to me.
I have had them travelling. For instance, I was in Verona, in Italy. I was in a beautiful garden. I was able to climb a hill to a line of grottos. I made it there at 12 mid-day and every single church bell in the whole city chimed at once. I was looking out at a panoramic view of the city. Magic. Let me die right here, right now.
I thought it might just be a chick thing, but thinking about it further, I’m not sure it is.
One bloke I know cried at his wedding. Never seen to shed a tear of sadness or joy before. But on this day he cried out of happiness. I overheard someone in the wedding party say, “he must really love her”. Well der, you might say, but what I know of this guy and his relationship, he feels that he has met his soul mate and they are still happy little bunnies to this day. What a lucky guy to be able to still feel so deeply and abandon himself to feelings that might not be considered manly. What a lucky bride too!
Some people have lots of bliss moments with their kids. Like when their baby first laughs, or learns to clap. When you don’t have kids, it’s probably hard to imagine that something so small can do this. Please take my word for it, it can!
Hearing my daughter sing “wake me up before you go-go” whilst tottering around the garden has a crumbling effect on me. I have indoctrinated her well. (insert evil laugh here)
It’s all up to the individual though, surely. What emotionally affects one person may not affect another.
I’m not necessarily sure that “acquiring” material objects, like the car of your dreams can do this. But maybe it can for some people. But how do you create a moment in time out of this? The more I think about it, the more I can see that it could. It’s like me and my roller-skating. It can take you back in time in your life when maybe you had no worries and life was simple. Sounds pretty blissful to me.
What I do find is that it can stem from simpleness. Something so simple, that we might otherwise take for granted, or not even notice if we were not fully in the moment - if we are not in the NOW.
Maybe it also happens when we are in times of extreme difficulty. We look for joy in simple things to help us cope better and to keep us going. Things that make us feel alive. Otherwise, how could we keep going?
A feeling of bliss cannot just be dependant on one or more of our five senses, can it? I know there is ice cream or chocolate out there (or cheesecake, Craig) that have advertising titles that may imply creating a moment of bliss. But these things don’t give you real bliss. That is BS. Bliss rhymes with BS. That’s probably where the commonality stops. It’s an emotional connection, and surely eating and taste doesn’t create this feeling. Or can it, if it reminds you of a happy moment in the past?
So our senses can lead us to an emotion, thus creating bliss, right?
Funny how I can write something, then think about it for a moment, and then disagree with myself huh?
I’m sitting here watching my family decorating the Christmas tree - My Boy and MY Minnie Elroy. I’m listening to them laughing, and mini Elroy is being “mum” and bossing her dad around. (good girl!). The lights are dimmed and the Xmas lights are on the tree. I feel incredibly grateful and content. And my eyes are wet. I need to go and be in the moment. This I do know.
This is my bliss moment tonight.
I wish you the feeling I have right now.
Happy Xmas=
Linda
Yesterday I received an email from a friend with the attached photo (above) and one line underneath- ‘Your parents.’ At first, I laughed, then I wanted to cry, because isn’t it just an unwritten rule that your parents shouldn’t/ couldn’t’/ wouldn’t be in better shape than you?? I don’t know if I was more disturbed by the fact my 21-year old friend was imagining my dad with a 6-pack like this, or the obvious fact my parents are very different physically (ie: white Anglo-Saxons in their mid 40’s -one with blonde hair and blue eyes), but I will grant they are both in very good shape! Considering they’re BOTH personal trainers at the spectacular, marvelous, phenomenal Harper’s Personal Training Gym (free plug Craig..lol) I guess it doesn’t make me feel so bad…
Through my adolescence I saw it as a curse; it seemed every other pantry in Melbourne stocked chips, chocolate and lollies- except mine. Regardless, over that time, I’ve learnt so much about food, nutrition, exercise and overall well-being and seen such fantastic results for not only myself, but the people my parents have inspired, that I want to share my knowledge with anyone out there who wants to lose weight, get fit or have their energy levels go through the roof- because I’ve done all of it! I want to help you change not only your lifestyle- but your whole LIFE!
THE REASON Most people only want to get in shape for a short-term reason ie: they have a wedding coming up, or Summer is around the corner- (or already here…) but you’ve really got to want to it long-term- for LIFE- if you want to truly reap the benefits of having a healthy lifestyle. Once you have a big enough REASON, a big enough WHY then you have the LEVERAGE to make changes for life! Napoleon Hill said, “The starting point of all achievement is desire.” Not only do you need to consider the fantastic opporuntities you will be able to create and take when you’re fit/strong/healthy/toned and trim, you need to consider the people/ jobs/ money/ circumstances/ opportunities that you have lost because you have not physically been what you want to be! First things first- Write these reasons down!! More importantly, write down what you risk FURTHER losing if you DON’T change your current lifestyle. Putting your head into the right healthy lifestyle mind-set is just as important as working out your body, if not MORE important! You need to have a psychological and emotional connection to the reasons you want to be physically well if you really want to achieve. Lance Armstrong (7-time Tour De France winner) said, “Winning is about heart, not just legs. It's got to be in the right place.” So decide what “winning” would be for you? What obstacles or battles do you need to overcome and what habits do you need to change to be considered a “winner” and what are the reasons in your heart for doing it?
GOALS You need to decide what your goals are and WRITE THEM DOWN. I’m serious- 97% of the population don’t write their goals down- put yourself in the 3% minority and see how your life starts to shift! These goals need to be SPECIFIC! If you want to change your diet you need to write down what you want to change it to- what food you want to include and what you’re going to try to have in moderation, or not going to have at all. So draw the page up into three columns. Write the foods you want to eat regularly/ increase (eg: wholegrain breads/cereals, fruit, vegetables, oats, lean red and white meats), occasionally (eg: rice, pasta, bread) and rarely (eg: lollies, chips, chocolate.) Saying ‘I will never eat chocolate again in my whole life’ is a little unrealistic and you are much more likely to break that, than if you were to be more specific and say, I am not going to eat chocolate for the next 21 days.
VISION BOARD If you have a goal weight you need to write down that weight and set a realistic date by which you would like to weigh that amount. Try not to concentrate on the number - it’s better to have the ideal BODY in mind! This is why a VISION BOARD is so fantastic! How often do we see movies or flick through magazines and think “I wish I looked like her..? Or ‘I wish I was as buff as that guy?” (Guys we know you think it, even if you don’t admit it..) So either buy a pin board or it can just be a piece of cardboard and search on the Internet or go through old magazines and find pictures of people who have bodies you admire. You don’t even have to put their whole bodies on (ie: If you only like their legs- only cut out their legs! – (Guys this may be more applicable to ‘massive guns’ ☺) and put that on your poster!) Make a collage of all the images that appeal to YOU and what YOU want. Then put a title at the top of the poster – like “My dream,” - mine is ‘Bombshell Body.’ Write out a few inspirational words or phrases and put them among the images (eg: Brilliant Body, Incredibly sexy. Etc. ) Hopefully this will re-inspire you when you are stumbling out of bed tomorrow morning cursing the hour you are going to the gym ☺
FINAL THOUGHTS (for now…) Three things: 1- Re-evaluate your progress on a regular basis- I would suggest monthly, quarterly and yearly. Ask yourself if you are on track. If so, what’s been working? How can you strengthen it? If not, why isn’t it working? (Really?) What can you change/ who can you ask for guidance?
2- Get a mentor/buddy- if you want to improve your body/fitness/health find someone who already has this aspect of their life under control. Use them as inspiration and ask them for advice! Don’t attempt to lose weight with only your five overweight friends as support- work with someone who’s already done it!
3- Vary your training! Mix it up- swim, ride, walk, skip, run, hike, play tennis, go rock-climbing, do weights- keep it interesting and keep your body guessing to see maximum results!
If you only do one of the things I’ve suggested, I’m a happy camper. ..But I’m going to end it abruptly here as my word limit has well and truly expired… and I want to leave you hanging for my next blog and the release of my book….:)
Good night to your bombshell body self and God bless… xox
Competitiveness – Nature or Nurture
The desire to win and to be a success in any endeavour will rule where you stand in your chosen sport or profession. Competitiveness – where does it come from? Is it genetic or fostered by over achieving parents. Is little Mia Hewitt (Lleytons daughter) going to be throwing her hand at her forehead yelling “C’mon” at her 2nd Birthday party when she wins the pass the parcel prize. Or does it come later from pushy coaches and parents brain washing their little protégés on the importance of ‘winning being everything’ and no one remembers who came 2nd. Who will remember that crying little girl at the Hewitts birthday party that missed out on the parcel prize by one present wrap! I have five beautiful children all with their own special traits. Competition to them is very different and unique to them all. At the moment my 7 yr old is on a mission to collect the most candy canes than anyone else in his family. My 6 yr old girl just wants to be the best teacher to her imaginary students that she can be!!
I must prelude the rest of this story by confessing that I am quite competitive to the point its scary. We were at a lovely BBQ last year with friends when they brought out the table tennis table for some fun hit and miss sport. Fun!! No I had to win, it soon turned into a challenge where everyone wanted to knock me off because I was getting so carried away. I made sure I whipped every 10 yr old that took me on that day!!!! This story is written, though with my 9 yr old in mind. He is a very skilful child, one of those that is lucky enough to be good at whatever he tries. However since I can remember his competitiveness and desire to win whatever it is he is doing is amazing. As a 6 yr old we were embarrassed to have so many friendly games broken up with Cameron walking off because the ref(a parent) made a bad call. A story I will never forget was on a family holiday. We were playing a game of rugby league on the beach. It was Lachlan (9) and Brendan (5) against Dad (37) and ‘must win ‘ boy Cameron (7). (Probably not a great combination). However it was all going well , an elderly couple stopped to watch us and they had that – ‘What a lovely family’ look on their face. At this point Cam and I were under pressure on our line. Feeling like a nice dad, I left some room for Brendan to run down the sideline and I gestured to him to score a try there. He picked up the ball took off with a determined look on his face. I made a masked attempt to tackle him, he got around me and was about to score when Cameron came from nowhere with a raised forearm and hit poor Brenny so hard he collapsed in a heap and a bucket of tears followed. I was in shock and ran to his aid. As I cuddled him I thought I’d look up at the smiling elderly couple and the look on their faces was priceless. Is this a junior Barry Hall or Adrian Morley. I said to Cameron, “What are you doing”, he replied, “ What are you doing, I wasn’t going to let him score !!”. Where did this come from?? Am I to blame??
This all brings up the argument of Nature versus Nurture ? When it comes down to the nitty gritty, the real tough stuff , when you can barely lift your arms or legs to continue, is it your upbringing that tells you to keep going, I don’t think so. That’s when you decide that it is too hard. I believe it’s the ones, those special elite athletes or supreme businessmen, that suddenly their natural instincts kick in and they will succeed no matter what obstacles are in front of them. So what do you think? Is it Nature or Nurture that breeds that animal competitiveness
Australians and Tall poppies
We all know about Australians and the way we like to bring down people that have crawled there way out of the mediocre pile (that is the Australian majority) and have done something with their lives.
It’s the Aussie way.
Greg Norman hit it on the head when he said “If an American sees an expensive car, he thinks “wow, that’s a great car, I would love that car”
whereas an Australian will run a key down the side of the door panel”.
Australians don’t like to see other Australians doing well.
A fine example is ‘the man’, Anthony Mundine.
He is one of the finest athletes this country has seen (a standout in two very different sports (rugby league and boxing)), but due to his love of speaking his mind he has a lot of enemies.
“Oh Yeah Matt, but he thinks he is so good”
Show me an elite athlete that doesn’t think he/she is the best.
They wouldn’t be in that situation if they didn’t know without a shadow of a doubt that they were the best person in the field.
If they thought they were second best, why would they even get on the starting blocks?
Do you think the guy that lines up next to Tiger Woods thinks he is going to lose?
Of course not.
His thoughts are of winning - full stop.
We hate tall poppies but we love an underdog.
Someone that comes from no where to take the trophy.
Someone that (against all odds) has risen up to conquer all!
Until of course they get too good and then they too become a wanker!
Anthony Mundine likes to portray his confidence to all that will listen, is that a crime?
I see that as a positive light.
He backs up his words with actions, something very rare in our current day and age.
Let’s stop and think why these people are so good at what they do.
Not just sporting heroes but top players in any field (business, arts, science, etc).
Imagine the hard work, endless hours of labour, studying, coaching, focus and dedication they commit to their ultimate goal.
And then after years and years of training, against all odds they have reached their goal.
This is one of the proudest moments of their lives.
They get on the winners podium to express to the world how proud of themselves they are and all those that helped them along the way.
And what do we say….
“Get over yourself you wanker”
It’s the Aussie way!
You are you best asset
The word asset can refer to any of the following: o Benefit o Advantage o Plus o Plus point o Positive feature o Quality o Skill o Talent
A closer study of these words reveals that they are descriptive of someone – YOU! ! ! You certainly are your most important benefit, your most potent advantage, your biggest plus and plus point. You are your most valuable quality, your best skill and strongest talent. The reason you find this hard to believe is simple – you have not taken time out with yourself. You’ve been too busy to uncover the hidden talent, dormant gifts and unrealized potential that lie in you. You’ve not dared to stretch yourself to the limit, to push yourself over the edge. The only person standing between you and yourself is – yes, you guessed right, YOU! ! ! Human potential is limitless; its only limitations are those you place on yourself.
You deserve to develop yourself and become the best you can be. Don’t sit back and take what life is giving you (its only giving you a raw deal anyway), stand up and stake a claim for what’s rightfully yours – its not going to come to you on a silver platter. Here are 6 tips on how to add value to yourself.
1. Keep the youth in your life!
Growing up is a matter of choice but growing old is simply biology. You don’t quit playing because you grow old – you grow old because you quit playing! Remember life’s a stage – it requires only the best actors and actresses. It needs passion, zest and gusto. These are the qualities of our youth (no wonder you wish you were young again!). Re-ignite the passion of your youth; rekindle the fire of days gone by.
2. Keep your friendships in constant repair!
If you ever need to carry anything for this journey make sure it’s a friend! Anything else is excess baggage. Friends cheer you in the race, catch you when you fall, cry with you and laugh with you. More importantly, though, they tell you when you are wrong. You will need them, you’ll certainly be wrong a good number of times! Friends, however endure and encourage so remember you need old friends to help you grow old and new friends to help you stay young.
3. Keep your mind active!
Leaving work is different from retiring. The most dangerous places are park benches and the most unproductive pastimes are watching the sun set and feeding the ducks. Only dead people engage in such unfruitless endeavors. You are too young to play bridge. Get a life and live your life to the fullest. There are no limits! Remember the mind is just like a parachute; it works best when it is opened!
4. Keep yourself in work!
You never work for someone else; someone pays you to work for yourself. Make sure you work because work is the purpose of life. Make the center of your life your work; not your work the center of your life. When what you want to do and what you have to do become one, it ceases to be a job. It becomes a calling, an r’aison de tre, a reason for your being. You can be fired from your job but never from your calling! Bear in mind that opportunity is missed by many because it comes dressed in dirty overalls and looks like work.
5. Keep your thoughts right!
No man has ever risen above the level of his thoughts. A man who thinks he is a loser will, sooner or later, find a way of losing. Thoughts maketh man! Watch them thoughts alright!
6. Keep your dreams alive!
Stoke the fire of your dreams with enthusiasm because enthusiasm is the companion of success. Remember only dead people don’t dream and you certainly are not in that category. Dreams are the raw materials of reality so happy building!
So please use everything you got to do all you got to do. Employ your dexterity, apply your expertise and deploy your competence. Use your bent, your forte, your knack to realize your value, worth, eminence and class!
Till then – GO GET THEM!!!
CONCEPTS OF LIFE
It’s very difficult to define the true meaning of life, Life is being defined in abstracts based on self perceptions, but the finite perceptions are the visual and mutual nomenclature of life.
Life is an entity of concepts, purpose and values; it’s bound round the entire nature of plants, animals and higher animals. The true concepts of life expedites on psychological conduct of human reasoning, it’s a subject of birth and growth, knowledge and understanding, reasoning and focus. The two side of life makes Man relatively assigned to the etiquette based on its principles, its influence with the conduct bureau and consecrations, i.e. religions and circular groups.
Let’s study some favourite quotes of life:- “If you seek, how is that different from pursuing sound and form?, if you don’t seek how are you different from earth, wood or stone?, you must seek without seeking”:- Fo-Yan.
“The mountains, rivers, earth, grasses, trees and forests are always emanating a subtle, precious light, day and night always emanating a subtle , precious sound, demonstrating and expounding to all people the unsurpassed ultimate truth” :- Yuan-Sou.
“Life has to be given a meaning because of the obvious fact that it has no meaning”:- Henry-Miller.
“I am a part of all that I have met”:- Lord Alfred-Tennyson.
“The deeper the experience of an absence of meaning ------, in other words, of absurdity----- the more energetically meaning is sought”:- Vaclav-Havel.
“Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning, quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it’s killing us”:- Jean -Baudrillard.
Why do we define what we see around us?, giving names to all things around us is inspirational. The text "define" is obsessed to our level of reasoning,adaptation and proclamation. We however gives names or define certain objects/things around us through ability to see,feel,touch or perceive, these four terms are substance of "study".
Study, both visible or invisible reciprocate the power to see,feel,touch or perceive. An object which cannot be seeing or touch must to be feel or perceived. Each discovery has always been attracted to argument,accusation,general discussion or public debate which probably may resulted to general controversy or criticism.
Only one thing that kept most of the Men blind till today is "predication", accepting all things the way it has been proclaimed without reason for changes. In every moments of life, almost everythings changes, new things are brought to invention with discovery of one time and a process of exploration. Why should we not give a sound meaning to life?, why shouldn't we define life as a mechanism that propels that static and impetus species.
Its a fact that almost find it difficult to discover more of life, we failed to seek what life is all about, we accepts it the way we sees it. Seeking for more of life is like studying all areas of existence both in creation,engagements and regeneration. The diverse areas of life includes meaning,purpose,value and the latter days of life. To study life is about engaging in some field of study i.e Metaphysics,biochemistry,philosophy,sociology,ontology,physiology,psychology,etymology and others. Studying the edifice of human life,nature,genes and ethics makes reference of series of school of thoughts and classifications by the scholars,the great Men of history.
The functioning of what has not been working before is life, when something has been found with dynamic functions is called life. Life is the importance of existence; existence is the procedure of growth and exercise. When light comes into darkness, the whole environs comes alive, in this sense, light is the mechanism of life, so life is light. There are types of life, life of unilateral meaning and phrase but Dispersedin functions. Life of static and life of impetus are the two types of lives which are of subsistence. The earth was created but was not come to life until there was separation between light and darkness, light and darkness, rain and sunshine, breeze and heat are the mechanism that propels the fuss of life.
THE WISE ONE
Let me tell you about a lady, we’ll call her Wise One, who over the years has taught me the value of healthy living.
I’ve never heard her complain about her weight mainly because she is a perfect size 12 and has been that way for as long as I have known her. There’s no reason for her to go on fad diets because she has always eaten healthy. Her fridge is full of veggies, and salad stuff and fruit. She does have a sweet tooth but only indulges on the odd special occasion. She drinks lots of water, the odd cup of tea and no alcohol.
When she was 15 she was in a car accident and she lost her leg. (What a ridiculous thing to say - lost her leg. Of course she didn't lose it, it was removed, hacked off, whatever... she didn't lose it ok).
Now there are folk who would say they've only got one leg it's too hard to exercise, then again some people say it's too hard to exercise with 2 legs! Having one leg didn’t slow her down for long, in fact I have a photo of her at 16 riding a bike.
She has played tennis every week for as long as I can remember and about 10 years ago she also took up golf. She lives 2 streets back from the beach and she goes swimming a couple of days a week, even in winter (completely mad). She’s the one who instilled in me a love of walking in the bush. We used to walk for miles. One year she took me walking down the Three Sisters at Katoomba. Anyone who has done that walk will know it’s pretty steep. Imagine doing that on crutches! So next time you start to come up with some lame excuse as to why you can’t exercise take a second to think about the Wise One with her one leg then take a leaf from her book and do some exercise you do enjoy. Start small if you need to, a walk around the block will do, just forget the excuses. She doesn't do this out of some mad desire to have the body beautiful or be super fit. She does it because its fun and she loves it. And this style of healthy living works for her.
Let me expand on the "what works for her" concept. When she was a teenager she had rheumatic fever. It damaged her heart, however for most of her life she was totally unaware of it. It wasn't until 3 years ago that she started to get breathless when she exercised then gradually it reached a point where she could barely walk. The valves to her heart were damaged and blood was leaking into her lungs which was why she got breathless. She had an operation and thankfully all is well again.
The doctor was astounded that she had gone 60 years before she had reached this point most people face problems within 30 years. He attributed it to her healthy lifestyle. I’m so proud of my mum even if she did make me eat broccoli.
Purpose Street
Recently I went on a 6-week holiday through Europe and it was amazing, not just for the sights and cities but for the experiences, cultures and having the time to slow down a little, gain some clarity and refocus on where I am going in life. Enough about me and my wonderful adventures - well until later.
It’s Christmas time again!! How quickly the year goes by, there seems to be this uncontrollable momentum of pace in everything we do these days, it’s gaining momentum rapidly and I can’t see it slowing down in the near future. There’s a real danger with this predicament, the fact that we are now living life at such a hectic pace I believe we are missing the point of what life its all about - To enjoy the journey.
I had never used a GPS until recently, for those of you who have never used one or don’t know much about them, what happens (simplest description) is you enter in the address or location you are wanting to drive to and the GPS will calculate the quickest and most efficient route. As you drive there is a voice (English Emily) that tells you where to go. It’s brilliant, especially if you don’t have great sense of direction or any idea of where you are heading. The best thing is even when you take a wrong turn it recalculates itself, points you in the right direction and you can continue on your journey again. It’s quite simple yet so effective. (In fact this little piece of equipment could be for some - a real marriage saver).
Using the GPS as a metaphor for life, how many of us go through life relying on other sources to keep us on the right path. Some people just follow the flow hoping to strike it lucky; others drive erratically trying to get to their destination not thinking about the damage they are causing behind them or what energy they are using inefficiently just trying to take short cuts. Like the GPS you need to work out where you want to go so when things go wrong you can recalculate and find the most efficient way.
(Back to the my story) so out we head for what is to be a wonderful days drive through the brilliant mountains and quaint villages taking in the sights, it was just awesome - until I took a wrong turn. That’s when my relationship with Emily (GPS) started to be tested; as she was recalculating she become all temperamental and her satellite reception dropped out (she was giving me the silent treatment). All of a sudden this wonderful piece of equipment no longer wanted to communicate with the universe or me for that matter, no one told me this could happen. As I went into panic mode and start cursing our English Emily I realised how much we can rely on someone or something else to control our journey.
How often do you go through life just following a trend or the in-thing of what others are doing and not really thinking about what it is you really want? Like the GPS sometimes we enter in the address of what we want to achieve then go into autopilot mode hoping that someone or something will do it for us.
Have you lost satellite reception?
Do you have a plan “B”, a recalculating process that enables you to regain focus or do you just give up and settle for something less. We all want our journey to be as smooth and as incident free as possible but sometimes things just don’t go to plan, so what do you do? You can reprogram your in-built GPS, wait for it to pick up the satellite reception (Re-assessing) then continue back on your journey again or you can get so annoyed, frustrated and disheartened that you stop pursuing your dream.
The choice is yours - the sad thing is, most people settle for the easy option, they stop pursuing their dreams, aspirations and goals, they settle for mediocrity because they have lost the passion for the journey.
No matter what, there are always going to be times when you take a wrong turn or hit one of life’s cul-de-sacs. At times things may even seem to be out of control but you know what - You can always recalculate, turn the vehicle around and get back on the road to “Purpose Street”.
Life’s journey can be a scenic drive if and when you have purpose, what I mean by this is when you know what you want, you should pursue it with passion. You don’t have to have major earth shattering dreams just something that inspires YOU - to be your best. When you have this passion you will find the drive so much more enjoyable.
Be your own GPS, set your sights on your purpose in life, find the best route and if things do get hectic remember to recalculate your homing device back to your purpose and enjoy the journey.
Happy motoring.
The thing is most of us understand what it takes to become great but it’s the thought of putting that knowledge into action. I will leave you with this quote.
“The great end of life is not knowledge but action”. Thomas H. Huxley
Take Yourself Seriously
Today’s blog are some thoughts about taking yourself seriously. By this I don’t mean taking life too seriously (we all need to laugh plenty), what I mean is to take yourself and your dreams, goals and aspirations seriously. Until recently, I didn’t. I thought of myself as just a 42 year old, wife, mother, business owner and accountant (very serious stuff). I did not truly invest in myself. I went to the gym, socialised with friends…the sort of stuff that keeps you sane, but I was spending way too much time nurturing others (particularly my children) and not myself. I didn’t really think that my goals, especially my fitness goals were that important. I was using the excuses: “I have bad knees”; “I’m too old”; “what is the point in getting really fit at my age” (seriously, I thought that!); ‘I’ve just had a baby” (he’s now 2), etc, etc. I have now been training with a trainer for about 8 months. He takes me seriously and was probably more focussed on my goals that I was!
In the last few weeks (and seriously inspired by “Your Perfect Body: A State of Mind”), I have started to set personal goals and spend real time doing the things that will give me that life that I have always dreamt of. I have replaced the word “motivation” with “inspiration” and am making real change to my life. I have finally realised that the biggest thing holding me back in life is me. I never truly realised that I could and I have wasted considerable time waiting to be rescued from my ‘fate’. I know I’m not talentless and that others are even inspired by stuff I have done or that I believe, but I didn’t have a sense of worthiness about myself. Fear is the thing for me. Basically, I’ve spent my life being frightened of everything from snakes to making phone calls. It is debilitating and ridiculous and quite frankly, I’m over it.
Self-esteem is another drawback. I think all of us have people in our lives that try and suck the life out of us and chip away at our self-esteem. The typical scenario of making you look weak in order to elevate themselves in their own mind (and that is the only place they are elevated!). Some of these people need to go and others will stay for various reasons. What we need to do with them is install our own special filter that recognises and filters the shit (can I say that?) that they are dishing up to us. I have one such friend and I have given way too much energy to the subtle comments and criticisms. It has, at times, consumed me for hours in a day….ridiculous but true. This person will always be there, so my mission is to filter the shit, although challenging it would be better.
Here are my top five for taking myself seriously and overhauling my life: 1. Change your diet and drink less alcohol – eating better gives you heaps more energy. It might not seem like much fun at first, but you’ll like yourself much better in the long run. 2. Set goals – big ones, small ones, it doesn’t matter - you just have to want to achieve them. Make them quantifiable and give yourself a time frame, otherwise goals that you could achieve in two weeks, may take years to achieve. 3. Get moving – walking, running, whatever it is that floats your boat. 4. Be inspired on a daily basis – find material (books, tapes) or people that inspire you and make them a part of your daily routine. There are so many inspiring people around that it won’t be hard to find one. Your partner should be your biggest cheer squad aside from yourself, that is! 5. Overcome your fears – they’re really holding you back!
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